Recommended Reading (updated)

Around the time of my first marriage, I think I’d read about 2 books. Ever. But going through my separation gave me a gift; the discovery of the wisdom, hope, insight, and entertainment that words on a page can bring. Books became a welcome companion and mentor when both were scarce, and needed more than ever.

You’ll see there’s a few ‘relationship’ books in there – feel free to avoid those ones for a little while – but anything that can help you understand yourself can help you relate to others. All relationships need work, and working on how you relate will benefit all concerned. It’s a win win. Anyway.

Here’s a few recommendations.

Divorce.

Divorce & Love Lost: God Will Make a Way (What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do) – Henry Cloud, John Townsend
One of the best little books I’ve ever read on this topic. Buy it. [ Amazon.co.uk: book | authors ]

Growing Through Divorce – Jim Smoke [ book | author ]
This book has sold over 600,000 copies, which says to me that the author’s 30-plus years of experience in divorce & relationship counselling has found its way onto the page in a way that will help all of us. Basically a recovery course in book form. Sound, practical help. (Not just advice…)

New Life After Divorce – Bill Butterworth [ book | author ]
The author is not just a highly experienced counsellor, but one who has walked through the door of divorce himself.

With or Without You – Cameron Conant
Not so much a ‘fix things’ book, but a chance to read a story you just might relate to. [ book | author ]

Missing Being Mrs – Jennifer Croly [ book | author ]
I haven’t gotten around to reading this one myself, but I’ll pass on the recommendations from others… (it’s on my list too)

Life.

The Purpose Drive Life – Rick Warren [ book | author ]
There’s a very good reason this has sold by the trillion… it should change your life!

Travelling Light – Max Lucado [ book | author ]
There’s no better time than now to rid yourself of unnecessary burdens…

Overcoming Overload – Steve Farrar and Mary Farrar [ book | authors ]
Sabbath, rest. Why don’t we?

Boundaries -  Henry Cloud, John Townsend [ book | authors ]
The subtitle says it all – “When to say yes, how to say no, how to take control of your life…”
Another ‘classic’ that should be on everybodys list.

Telling Yourself The Truth – William Backus, Marie Chapian [ book | authors ]
Quite intense in theory, but incredibly helpful for facing reality and understanding our internal belief systems, and ensuring we’re listening to the right truths!

Dangerous Wonder: The Adventure Of Childlike Faith – Michael Yaconelli [ book | author ]

Wild At Heart – John Eldredge [ book | author ]
Every man should read this book. Inspiring stuff.

Captivating – Staci Eldredge, John Eldredge [ book | authors ]
And every woman should read this one. Men too, I think.

Blue Like Jazz – Donald Miller [ book | author ]

Every Mans Battle – Arterburn, Stoeker & Yorkey [ book | authors ]
Like it says on the tin; every man battles with sexual temptation. This honest, challenging, and very helpful book will help you deal with the reality of the constant struggles we face…

Network (Discover your spiritual gifts…) – Bruce Bugbee [ personal assessments | participants guide | author | Network Ministries ]
Not so much a book, but a course. You will find the book on Amazon, and can simply work through the assessments and gain some insight into your design… but I strongly recommend having a hunt around for a program being offered near you -  that way, you will learn much more by understanding the wider context. I found it really beneficial in terms of ‘defining me’… when I came out of my marriage I realised I didnt really know who I was – and this was a big help in bringing some focus amidst the haze. It was so good, I did it twice! Oh, and dont be tempted to think that these gifts can only be about serving in your church… YOU are the church; this is about WHO you are, WHEREVER you are…

The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman [ book | author ]
This will help you understand yourself, and your future partner. A really top book.

His Needs, Her Needs – Willard F. Harley Jr. [ book | author ]

Etc.

U2 At The End Of The World – Bill Flanagan [ book | author ]
A top, top book, from the tour that changed the live touring world forever: ZOO TV. It’s getting on a little now, it was the early 90’s – but still, it’s a great read.

Bono In Conversation (or ‘Bono on Bono: Conversations with Michka Assayas’) – Michka Assayas [ book | author ]
Another insightful (and more recent) book about the kingdom of U2, from the throneroom, as it were.