Burned by the fire of love
June 26, 2008
Desert sky, dream beneath the desert sky
The rivers run but soon run dry
We need new dreams tonight.
Desert rose, dreamed I saw a desert rose
Dress torn in ribbons and bows
Like a siren she calls (to me).
…Naked flame, she stands with a naked flame
I stand with the sons of Cain
Burned by the fire of love
Burned by the fire of love.
(Sleep comes like a drug in God’s country
Sad eyes, crooked crosses, in God’s country)
from In God’s Country/The Joshua Tree (C) U2.
I was just watching Rattle and Hum on DVD while having a look at the blog, and there was something about that line ‘I stand with the sons of Cain, burned by the fire of love’ that got my attention.
Typically of all U2’s lyrics, you could go a number of ways with it – you were burned, and hurt, by the ‘love’ of a fallen world, or you were simply a fallen son of Cain, but burned by some greater love…
Back in the mid-eighties when I first heard The Joshua Tree, and was caught up in its magic, its passion, its grit and its grace… I really had no idea about some of the grit and grace that would follow in the 90’s, both in my life, and in the music of my new favourite band.
One of the things that I loved so much about U2 was that they seemed to encapsulate a real-life faith. They were Christians who were musicians, but they didn’t wear their faith like a cheesy badge or tye-dyed t-shirt. Their faith was a part of who they were and what they did; what they did poorly, and what they did well. There was something ‘real’ about that. That grit and grace brought an authenticity to a faith that can so often be, for some, just words on a page.
I’ve always wanted my faith to find its place in my ‘real world’, not just my Sundays or the meetings where I celebrate and learn about my God. I want to know God is with me on a cold, wet week-day morning. It was really only when going through divorce that I realised He was walking with me, closer than I realised, through all those dark, depressing Mondays…
Yes, I stand with the sons of Cain, burned by the fire of love.
But I stand, too, with the Son of Adam – washed in the daily waters of grace.
Don’t be afraid of the future
June 14, 2008
That sounds a bit dramatic, but I think it’s a very real fear. The unknown reactions of people in your unknown future…
I remember thinking to myself that I might not be ‘acceptable’ by a future partner’s parents, or even ‘lovable’ by ‘her’; the new girlfriend I was hoping would come into my life. The ‘parents thing’ was quite interesting in that I really valued highly my Christian faith, and as such, I thought it would be great if she came from a strong Christian family. And of course I would want their approval and blessing on our relationship. Following that thought would come the whisper ‘If they are so ‘good’, what if you’re not good enough for them?’
In a world based on judgement that might be a real fear, but in a world based on grace, as our life should be, then a whisper like that can simply be discarded as a lie. A lie that says you have to earn love, and that your sins stay with you. Jesus came to give us life, grace, and freedom to live unhindered by the shackles of our past mistakes.
Fast forward a few years – I am now very happily married with a lovely week-old baby boy. It’s a remarkable, challenging time, but I have also never loved or felt love like I have this week. I’m not sure why that is, some kind of mystery. But it’s a beautiful mystery. I have married the most amazing Christian lady with the most lovely Christian family. And not a perfect family either, but faithful, loving, hardworking and understanding.
My wife Sara was watching me set-up the Facebook group the other night and just started to cry; she looked at me with so much love through those teary eyes as she was overcome with compassion and perhaps a fresh revelation of the level of pain that my divorce had caused me. But you know, that moment was a revelation to me of the restoration, the spectacular restoration of my life and the gift of my new marriage.
God is so good. It may have taken me 5 long years on my own before I met Sara, and another 2 years before we married – but God’s timing is perfect and all his ways are just. His love is ever present and his plans for us are good.
Don’t be afraid of the future. God will bring people into your life who will show you His grace, and share with you His love. Expect good things to come from your perfect Father…
And I did get that ‘approval’ – Sara’s parents gave me their blessing for marriage just four years ago last week, on a blue couch in a little house by the sea. It would only be a week later that Sara said her special ‘yes’ to me.
Never be afraid of waiting for the goodness of God. Believe me, it’s worth the wait.
re:place – a Facebook group
June 4, 2008
I’ve just started a group on facebook, hoping to drum up some conversation.
I’ve just finished helping with another ‘Divorce & Seperation Recovery’ course at Holy Trinity Brompton. It’s about the only course out there at the moment which is aligned with (though not exclusive to) the Christian life… and was inspired to start this group up tonight. I’m hoping it will grow into something helpful, or hopeful for Christians out there who are going through this very dark, difficult stage in life.
unjoining
June 3, 2008
you might be a world away
you could be in front of me
you are the memory that shapes
the faded ache
when I am reminded
of this unjoining
you are the beautiful hour
that passed when I was dreaming
you are the second thought
the faded image
when I look back
at this unjoining
you are the passion that’s left
when the conflict’s resolved
you are the question that’s asked
when the certainty
dissolves
you are the words that slip off the trip of my tongue
when the tangible loses sight of senses that come
and in the reflection
and the shadow of love
I thirst for your light when the darkness is done
It’s the dense fog that rests
on the uncertain heart
this knot is truly untying
I am adrift
on this unjoining
18 October 2002
